On Believing In and Loving Yourself -
The other day my coworker and I were talking and he said to me, “Look Caroline. Other people exist to think and say mean things about you. And you exist to think and say nice things about you. So don’t do other peoples’ jobs for them!”
While I’m not sure I quite agree with his statement that all individuals are naturally concerned to a certain degree with putting others down, what he said stuck with me. So many people I know and care about have low self-worth and views of themselves that are incredibly negative. So while I’m not quite saying my friend was right, what he told me begs the question: if you feel the world is placing heaviness and negativity upon your shoulders, why knowingly place more upon yourself?
Over the past several months I’ve realized that the people around me concern themselves with the way I look and behave much, much less than I generally imagine. I have always been a very self-conscious person so of course I worry constantly about whether the way I am acting and the way I appear at that moment is earning me secret waves of judgement from those nearby. But eventually I figured out - in at least fifty percent of all situations in which I feel this way, that is not the case.
And who cares, anyway? Who cares about the people you don’t like? Who cares about the people you’ll never see again? I’m sure you’ve heard before the quote “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” This is absolutely true! A person who loves and cares about you isn’t going to care if your hair looks bad, if you gained three pounds over Christmas break, if your sneeze interrupts a long stretch of silence or you stutter a little when you speak. And someone who treats you badly because of these things is a person you don’t want to know anyway. Trust me.
So my advice to and challenge for you is to stop trying to impress other people and start trying to impress yourself. But be kind, okay? Because whether you know it or not, chances are you’re already much closer to perfection than you think.